le sigh

Hello everybody. So, it's been quite a while since I've updated. Four months to be exact. Not too much to update about, really. Uhh, Chazz and I aren't together anymore. Pretty sad since all my previous posts were mostly about him. I may have to get rid of those. I read all my posts before I started writing this one. I hate thinking about how happy I used to be. I don't like thinking about how excited we were to move up in life and live in our own little place together. But, I've been trying to move forward in my life. Looking SO hard for a job. I can't even believe how hard it is. I've applied at the Grand America Hotel, Harmon's (3 different ones), Discover Card, Verizon Wireless and..I believe that's it? Ugh just hoping so much that I get one of those. I've been hanging out with my best friend Alexa a lot more now. She recently moved into a cute house right by me. I love her girlfriend so much. She treats Alexa so well! It almost seems like I get sad, though, the longer all three of us hang out. They can always keep me laughing and smiling but, deep deep down inside there's a little seed of sadness that sprouts a little bit more when I see them kissing or when they say I love you. It's strange, really. I'm usually not shy at all to talk about my feelings or say something's wrong or to cry. But, this time...I keep trying to bury my feelings about this. I guess that says something, though. If Alta isn't expressing her feelings, something's definitely wrong. I even feel like I'm being too revealing on this blog..and I don't think ANYBODY is reading this right now. Blah. I've been having a lot of guys coming around and trying to get with me or tell me their feelings and it's like..fucking no. Like, I can't even handle this random attention right now. I feel like I sound like a complete pussy bitching about my life. I'm never like this! My life just feels..wrong now. I can handle being alone all the time but, it's the feelings I'm having that are bringing me down. I don't need to depend on another person for my life to be great. But, when someone so special just walks out of your life, it's like a piece is missing. I don't have anyone to run to anymore, or anyone to worry about. I don't even have anyone to laugh with. I feel like I've disconnected (slightly) from my family. I'm know I'm not depressed. This update isn't like some little cry for help. I just need to get my feelings out into words. And, I'm not comfortable just talking people's ears off about MY problems. My problems are nothing compared to other people's problems. I just don't know what to do. I would wait until the end of the world for Chazz but, at the same time, I refuse to be someone's second choice. I refuse to be settled for. I just want someone to want me enough that they won't let go. Because it seems to happen every time something is going well.

Hey everybody! I haven't had much time to update this past weekend. Chazz and I had his son this weekend so, we were busy with that. We went to his cousin's birthday party at Classic Skating. That was pretty fun and nostalgic to go back there. Classic Skating is like THE place for tweens to hang out in Utah. It's pretty much just a roller rink that plays music. I remember going there all the time when I was younger. It's funny, Chazz and I always figure out things we used to do when we were younger and figure we probably saw each other so many times at places without even knowing. We have gone to a lot of the same punk shows, Warped Tours, and hanging out at places like Classic Skating at the same age. :] It's pretty awesome to think. Chazz has mono. :( It's sad. I wish there was more I could do to help him feel better but, mono isn't an infection or bacterial. It's something you just have to get over without any prescription medicine. The doctor prescribed him Lortab which has at least been helping with the pain. At one point he had a 102.1 fever. It sucks really bad. But, we at least had a good weekend. On Monday, we went out to eat at Iggy's. It was ok. Chazz didn't like his steak but, he had some margaritas and he loved those. It was fun. :] Once again, him and his buddies are running a Mario Kart tournament so, I'm gonna end this post and eat some ice cream and root for my baby to win! <33

-solidgroundcafe

Hello everyone! Just stoppin through and wanted to update about my day. :] Went to bed last night around 5 am, ugh. But, loved hanging out with Chazz and goofing around before we went to sleep finally. We were being nerds and dancing to some music on a show's credits. We were trying to remember what show it was today but, we couldn't. Haha. Then Chazz did his amazing flute solo to the Boy Meets World credits. I almost pissed my pants laughing. We finally woke up around 1 o'clock. Not too bad considering the time we went to bed. When we woke up, we saw that one of Chazz's guages that I bought him for our Anniversary was missing out of his ear. So, that was kind of a dumb start to our day but, we finally found it. Then, in true Chazz fashion, he wanted to look online for a piece of equipment for work. We couldn't find any good leads online so, we went to a kitchen supply store. It was pretty cool in there, we had fun. They didn't end up having the piece that we needed but, the guy who was helping us gave us some whack ass directions to a place that might have them. We tried to follow the directions but, we couldn't find shit. So, we just shrugged our shoulders and came back home. Then I took my baby to work and I went and cashed a check. Came back home and fell asleep. I was pissed. I really wanted to watch Deal or No Deal but, I fell asleep in the middle of it. :( AND I was supposed to get some boxes out of my room and put them in the shed but, by the time I woke up, it was too dark. I feel bad about that. Ugh. I need to get that damn room cleaned. It's not that bad, it's just a lot of stuff that needs to be taken out of there. I cleaned out my entire closet so we could store clothes in there, and now all the contents of my closet are now outside of it and on my floor. Then I have a big trash bag full of clothes that, although I DON'T want to, I'm getting rid of for the greater good of my room. So, that's pretty much it. I just know it'll take more than one day (unless I start early early and keep going) and when I get started on something, I wanna just get it done and not have to bother with it anymore. But, whatever. I'm motivating myself to get that shit done so we can have a clean room. It's tough when you've lived in a space for 20 years and the stuff just keeps piling up. I have no problem getting rid of everything but, it's just a lot of work. I've already tossed out two ginormous trash bags full of childhood memories from my closet. Haha. But, yeah..I'll keep you posted on how the progress is doing. Well, I'm just waiting for Chazz to call me and tell me that he's done at work. :] Excited to see my baby! Thanks for reading. <333

-solidgroundcafe

So, like I mentioned in my first post of the day, I had to take my boyfriend to work this morning. He is very dedicated to his job, it's one of the things I admire about him. He wanted to go in early today and clean the kitchen. So, I took him at 11 am, and he was actually supposed to work at 4:30 in the afternoon. So, he ended up staying and cleaning until 4. So, I didn't really get to hang out with my baby today. But, that's ok. He was clocked on all day and will be until probably 2 am (he works at a bar, remember?). So, blah! I don't know what I shall do with my time tonight. I was watching Jersey Shore all day long. Pretty awesome, I know. I fell asleep for about an hour earlier while watching it. The episode that was on was the one where Ronnie gets in a fight after Sammi walks away and gets mad after he pushes her to make her stop talking shit to some random couple. So, I was pretty much interpreting what was going on outside of me (Jersey Shore audio) and putting it into a dream. It was pretty funny. I'd seen the episode previously so, some things were the same and others were a little different. It's funny when you remember parts of your dream and specifically remember thinking "well, that's kind of weird that he/she would say/do that." in your dream. Like, even in our dreams, we have some sort of logic going on. Your dream can be totally wacky and you're flying or someone is on fire but, if somebody says something weird. you're like "what the fuck are you talking about?" hahaha. At least, that's how it sometimes is for me. I love dreaming. When I'm having an intense dream, I can wake up, smoke a cigarette, say hi to my mom and go back to bed and go right back to dreaming the same thing. Can anybody else do that? I've always wanted to know if someone else could do that. I know it's not like a gift or anything really special. Just strange, I guess. Well, I've got like 8 or 9 hours to myself tonight so, you might expect more posts if I'm really that bored tonight which, I normally get pretty fucking bored. :] <3333
-solidgroundcafe

Just FYI, I'm completely obsessed with baking and "cute food" type shit. So, expect at least a small portion of my posts to be food related. I really want to try and make these rainbow cupcakes soon. I was on a cookie making kick for a while and now I've moved on to cupcakes. I made some AMAZING chocolate cupcakes for Chazz's birthday. I woke him up with pink chocolate chip pancakes (his birthday is on valentine's day..don't hate on the pink pancakes) and bacon. :] And later, I baked him up some delectable chocolate cupcakes. I had a little extra batter so, I put it into a mini cupcake mold. Then, I added chocolate frosting and sprinkles, and I put a colorful candle on it and brought it to my baby. He loved it. I SO wanted to get a picture of the baby cupcakes, I thought they were so cute. They were the perfect mouthful. However, I did happen to get a picture of the normal sized cupcakes. So, I will have to share those with you soon. Ahh, the things we do for love, right?

Hello, computer world. I just woke up and took Chazz to work. He works as a chef at the Huka Bar. It's pretty awesome..his cooking is second to none. I love when he cooks for me! We were both SO tired this morning when the alarm went off, we hit the snooze button twice. Ugh. We stayed up late and watched Halloween, the Rob Zombie version. The one that shows Michael Myers as a kid and how he got so fucked up. It's fucking scary...It wasn't as scary this time around since I'd seen it before but, I was excited to watch cuz SOMEONE told me they hadn't seen it before! And then a part came on and Chazz is like "Oh, I've seen this." I had to give him a look but, inside I was laughing. Hahaha. It was silly. But, we still watched it and enjoyed it. It was kinda cool cuz, since we'd both seen it, we could sort of watch and talk about the movie at the same time. We didn't have to feel bad making one another miss a part or anything like that. :] After that, we went upstairs and watched Frisky Dingo (best show of all time), and American Dad (also best show of all time). We LOVE American Dad. That show is SO underrated!! I'm trying to remember which episodes were on..I remember one was the episode where future Stan who's a cyborg comes back and tries to steal Francine away. It was a Valentine's Day episode from last year, I think. And, I'm getting kinda mad because I can't remember what the other episode was. Sad face! Oh well, not much more to update on since I've only been up for an hour. Maybe I'll take back the movies I rented since we've watched both of them, now. I rented A Night at the Roxbury because Chazz hadn't seen it (i know, i know!) haha we laughed so hard. I'm really glad he enjoyed that one. :] Well, I suppose I'll come back and update later if there's anything worth writing about. Love ya!

-solidgroundcafe

Hey everyone! I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Alta. I'm 20 years old, my birthday is in October. I'm a lucky Libra. :] I have a boyfriend named Chazz. We're in love.. :] We are pretty immature but, that's what makes our relationship fun. We've been dating (and living together) for a little over a year now. We love to sit at home and play video games all day. In fact, that's what he's doing as I'm typing this. [Mario Kart] I love tattoos, I currently have 3. I have a skeleton key behind my ear, a star on my left foot (ouch) and a pretty girl on my forearm, her name is Rita. Maybe you'll meet her later if you're lucky. OH! I live in Utah. I'm sure you can already tell I'm not LDS. I swear a little more than I should. I also chain smoke like a motherfucker. I love to drink but, not often. I'm a pretty fun, optimistic gal. I like cute, sparkly, colorful things. Also tiny furry kittens are my weakness. If it's pink, I probably adore it. Chazz and I are working on moving out, we live together at my house. We are so excited to have our own cute little house. We're pretty stoked about grocery shopping together. :] Like I mentioned before, I'm a sucker for cute. So, I'll make sure to start off my blog with a picture or something I find completely adorable. I'm definitely going to try and update as much as possible. Sometimes I have difficulties so, don't hate me if I skip a day or two. I hope that was enough information about me. :] I'll update tomorrow! I'm gonna watch Chazz kill it on this MK tournament. 1st place, bitches! Suck on that! 

-solidgroundcafe